Nederburg Pinotage 2008

Finally, summer-like weather has come! Visiting friends at their delightfully renovated vintage home in the suburbs. Stealing a nap on a corner sofa during a rain shower on Saturday afternoon; waking to a bird chirping happily just outside the window. Then, an outside barbecue with fancy French sausages, couscous, vegetables, crackers and cheese. Now that's the good life!

Nederburg Pinotage 2008: Smells like motor oil. Downing it, feels like I'm breathing fiery vapors for about 2 minutes afterward. Back of the head hurts; may or may not be related.

Cork top. Alcohol content 14%. Price about $12. Blechs 3/5.

Kellog's Diner House Cabernet

After the knitting-fest breaks up, we go to eat at the neighborhood diner -- a perfect way to end a night of cool people, laughter, and gossip. Around the table we have all the greats: turkey club, ham-with-egg-and-cheese sandwich, and a delicious chocolate croissant. Relaxing before heading home for the night...

Kellog's Diner House Cabernet: Smells like paint. First taste is totally transparent to the tip of the tongue... Eggy, kind of like tear gas... Rising in the fashion of swamp vapors as it goes down.

Blechs 3/5.

Grüner Veltliner 2009

An artsy knitting circle in the corner table of a hip Williamsburg (Brooklyn) bar on a Saturday afternoon. Talking about plans for upcoming projects, with spicy veggie tacos and chocolate fudge brownies brought from home. Mostly girls of course... and what's wrong with that?

Grüner Veltliner 2009: Odor mild like grape juice... As it begins to pour, a faint earthy smell, reminiscent of the farms of my youth, like the finest of cow poop... Bubbly like ginger ale... A tasteless, stinging ephemera.

Screw top. Alcohol content 14.5%. Price about $13. Blechs 3/5.

Domaine Pelaquie - Cotes du Rhone 2009

Out on the town, friends showing us a new restaurant in the hip part of New York... A small, brick-walled, intimate little place with simply amazing mussels in coconut milk -- merguez sausages -- and roasted balsamic chicken. As we animatedly chat about art, dining, and travel over an early-ish dinner, all the beautiful young people filter in and fill the rest of the tables and bar. Altogether delightful!

Domaine Pelaquie - Cotes du Rhone 2009: An interesting, smooth, fruity, sugary aroma... Promising! The initial taste, smooth and welcoming on the tip of the tongue... And then on swallowing, at the back of the mouth: a shocking, pinpoint starbust of simply jaw-dropping intense pain! Rather like being stabbed in the back of the throat with a rusty dagger for a crisp instant. Really an amazing, almost unbelievable sensation. Confirmed after repeated more sips.

Cork top. Alcohol content 14%. Price about $12. Blechs 4/5.

Universo De Los Andes Malbec 2008

Cool New York friends at a surprise birthday party -- What fun! Giggles and laughter as the birthday-boy spins around with a blindfold, almost sitting on his own cake -- then misses the piñata and smashes his own lamp with the death-defying broom-handle. Good humor and lively memories are had by all!

Universo De Los Andes Malbec 2008: A smell that's pungent, thick, and syrupy. The first taste provides confirmation: Thick, syrupy, tangy, generally yucky. Actually goes down fairly smooth.

Cork top. Alcohol content 14.5%. Price about $12. Blechs 1/5.

Ed Hardy Rose 2008

Family dinner in Maine: An all-too rare gathering! The roaring fire, roast chicken with stuffing, maple-syrup squash, and loving family... And a special "secret" strawberry desert! Lots of hugs and love after a long winter's drive. What could be better?

Ed Hardy Rose 2008: Smells like mild berries... Mildly sour, kind of forgettable... Meh.

Cork top. Alcohol content 12.5%. Price about $8. Blechs 1/5.

Fresco Averoff Red 2008

What fun! How can you love anything more than a new fancy restaurant opening in the neighborhood, and trying it out on a cold, wintry Saturday evening with your lover? Here you'll see a captured photograph of our truly scrumptious meal -- for her, a tuna steak with lemony potato and mixed vegetables; for me, a steaming pot of mussels in cream sauce with mushrooms and bacon. Entirely delightful.

Fresco Averoff Red 2008: Odor mild -- a promising snifter, could be a good breakthrough (I'm thinking)! Upon imbibing... have enormous difficulty swallowing... the wine swirling painfully on the end of the tongue, unwilling to go down... and finally gulping it away. The throat doesn't admit to its existence -- but the mouth still burns with oaky, lingering vapors .

Cork top. Alcohol content 13%. Price about $14. Blechs 3/5.

Agustinos Malbec 2008

A quiet night in after a hard week's work. A scrumptious dinner of roasted pork in a cream sauce with mushrooms, and a side of cold broccoli. The cat slumbering peacefully on an old ottoman by the fireside.

Here's Agustinos' Malbec 2008: The odor strong and pungent, holding the promise of an eye-watering experience. The first sip is amazingly tart -- Fire on the lips and tongue, and then a long, slow burn all the way down the throat. Holy smoke, do I hate this wine! A simply astonishing level of displeasure all through the ingestive tract.

... And hours later, a warm queasy feeling still remains in the stomach.

Cork top. Alcohol content 13.5%. Price about $11. Blechs 5/5.

La Vieille Ferme Recolte 2009

An epic blanket of snow that's given a temporary rest to one of the world's great cities: Who wouldn't enjoy a cozy evening with their lover and nothing but to enjoy one another's company and warmth? A humble repast of bits and pieces from the coldbox, complete with a fine wine from the local dealer.

La Vieille Ferme Recolte 2009: On sampling the aroma, smells like a bunch of grapes. The first sip is watery, yet burns like the dickens on the lips, tongue and throat... an increasingly bitter aftertaste. Long-lasting sore spot deep in the throat.

Screwcap top. Alcohol content 13.5%. Price about $10. Blechs 4/5.