Universo De Los Andes Malbec 2008

Cool New York friends at a surprise birthday party -- What fun! Giggles and laughter as the birthday-boy spins around with a blindfold, almost sitting on his own cake -- then misses the piñata and smashes his own lamp with the death-defying broom-handle. Good humor and lively memories are had by all!

Universo De Los Andes Malbec 2008: A smell that's pungent, thick, and syrupy. The first taste provides confirmation: Thick, syrupy, tangy, generally yucky. Actually goes down fairly smooth.

Cork top. Alcohol content 14.5%. Price about $12. Blechs 1/5.

Ed Hardy Rose 2008

Family dinner in Maine: An all-too rare gathering! The roaring fire, roast chicken with stuffing, maple-syrup squash, and loving family... And a special "secret" strawberry desert! Lots of hugs and love after a long winter's drive. What could be better?

Ed Hardy Rose 2008: Smells like mild berries... Mildly sour, kind of forgettable... Meh.

Cork top. Alcohol content 12.5%. Price about $8. Blechs 1/5.

Fresco Averoff Red 2008

What fun! How can you love anything more than a new fancy restaurant opening in the neighborhood, and trying it out on a cold, wintry Saturday evening with your lover? Here you'll see a captured photograph of our truly scrumptious meal -- for her, a tuna steak with lemony potato and mixed vegetables; for me, a steaming pot of mussels in cream sauce with mushrooms and bacon. Entirely delightful.

Fresco Averoff Red 2008: Odor mild -- a promising snifter, could be a good breakthrough (I'm thinking)! Upon imbibing... have enormous difficulty swallowing... the wine swirling painfully on the end of the tongue, unwilling to go down... and finally gulping it away. The throat doesn't admit to its existence -- but the mouth still burns with oaky, lingering vapors .

Cork top. Alcohol content 13%. Price about $14. Blechs 3/5.